paris lips

em: i don't think paris has full lips.
tihna: she does.
em: um. no. i think you're wrong.
tihna: compared to the rest of her skinniness?

These Kiwis did NOT watch "The Great Escape"

Hat tip to the BBC.

On The Topic of Exboyfriends...

me: do i have a big ego?

jason: like, as in you're arrogant?

no

me: lol thank you

my ex is telling me i have a big ego

jason: yea, wtf, you're quite humble i'd say, you've just got spunk.

and you're witty

and he's jealous.

me: and im like "... right.. uh... youre obv bitter about something"

jason: yes bitter that's the one

me: lol

he is jealous

bc i have a job that i love

and thatt i dont have to worry about

jason: ahhh

that really gets on some people's nerves

me: because i have a crazy social life, don't care to be tied down to a man that i don't love. lol

jason: he's not bored, he's boring.

me: hahaha

Hiatus

angie: dude, we need to update uglylaugh. its been a week!
jess: yeah.
angie: its been a week!
jess: umm.. maybe we just haven't been laughing.





j + a: hahahhahahahaha

Dating the Roommates

Maureen: say it

me: http://uglylaugh.blogspot.com/2009/01/dating.html

Maureen: go head

ass

me: i was GOING to say, "don't go dating all her roommates now"

but then i thought, "too late"

haha

Maureen: i can't date kristine

she's straight

me: lol

i guess youre dafe then?

hahahaha

*safe

aw lame.

burn + mispelling = backfire

Maureen: hahahahaha

serious

At Eastern Standard

Jess: You know who looks good in berets?
Angie: Who?
Jess: Almost nobody.





Jess: Did I say that loud enough for that girl to hear?

Worst case scenario.

A conversation between coworkers, about a hugely annoying coworker (let's call her Poppy), via text:

1: My Christmas present to everyone - I got Poppy laid.
2: HOW IS THIS A PRESENT FOR THOSE OF US WHO ARE UNWILLINGLY CELIBATE?
1: Because now she will shut the fuck up.
2: No. She'll still over-elaborate, and now I've got a nasty mental image AND an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy.
1: I'm sorry. :(
2: I mean, aw man, really? Let me just jump out the third floor window I'm sitting next to.
1: Sorry dude I didn't get any either.
2: Then...how COULD you?
1: Mostly it was funny.

xbox

now i know i'm a horrible person for thinking this is hilarious
but damn, its funny. you gotta be a real bastard to do this to a kid. bahahahahaha

We all want something.

Maureen: i need to find a good fish place
Angie: i want affection
Maureen: i want a pony
wow
that was kind of dick, huh>?
Angie: LOL
Maureen: zomg ugly laugh
i'm putting it up

obv gobama

alex: http://www.hardocp.com/images/news/1231627863GiOYXp4XMd_1_1_l.jpg
angie: lol damn
9:10 PM
angie: whoa
angie: eight miles a gallon
angie: is it sad that that bothers me?
alex: yes
alex: wtf do you care about, assassination or fuel economy on something used for local drives
angie: obv gobama
alex: hahahaha

.......

Sifting through the lost and found box...

Angie: DUDE, who leaves a jar of INSTANT COFFEE at a Health Clinic?!!
Jess: Girl, I just bought that!

Juicy Directions

angie: did i really just tell her to eat something juicey?

lol. who is speaking through me?!

i dont say things lke that!

Jess: LOLLLLL

angie: eat something juicy. like an orange. or watermelon

Jess: OR CARROT JUICE

angie: like... grapes.. or a nectarine

Jess: or YO MOMMA

Sent at 3:27 PM on Saturday

angie: gdghkahouqeryo

Jess: LOL

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

SNAP

Sleeping Around

alex: I've slept with a bunch of people, male and female, over the years

angie: lol hoebag

alex: from people crashing at my place to going camping... I'm such a ho

angie: you totally got the hiv

alex: lmao

Roommates on dating.

Meghan: you need to be bringing over more attractive boys for me to look at
Maureen: yeah
this old guy thing has got to end
Meghan: agreed
if he is old enough to be your father's contemporary, dont date him
Maureen: ahh, meg-han's rules to live by
Sent at 2:42 PM on Friday
Meghan: haha
hey, i am smarter than i look
Maureen: i think you're going on the blog
Meghan: yessssssssss
and that will be the most productive part of my day

Dating

Maureen: also i'm finding that he's not as much fun as i am

cuz he's like old

all he ever wants to do is talk

Sent at 11:47 AM on Friday

angie: ......

::ugly laugh::

when'd you start dating chicks?

Sent at 11:48 AM on Friday

Maureen: it's not funny!

except for the part where it's funny

Sent at 11:50 AM on Friday

angie: hehe

Sent at 11:51 AM on Friday